7 Things You Should Know About Your Partner Before Getting Married

#wedding #marriage 

7 Things You Should Know About Your Partner Before Getting Married

Couples are often so caught up in the romance and excitement of being engaged that they forget to discuss some pretty big issues that can ruin a marriage. 

1. Prenuptial Agreement. By design, the prenuptial agreement is discussed in advance of the wedding, but it should be something agreed upon pre-engagement. If one or both spouses are coming into the marriage with assets that need to be protected, it’s important to make certain that both are amenable to signing a prenuptial agreement before saying yes to the ring.

2. Spend or Save. It’s cliché, but so true: money is the root of all evil. When I watch couples plan their weddings, I often see how much they disagree over how to spend money. One is carefree and loose with money, the other wants to be frugal. You should decide before you wed how money will be handled in your house. Create a budget, decide what to do with leftover cash, and plan for your future. Make rules about money you can both follow and stick to them.

3. Who Pays for What. Will you combine your money and pay for your bills together out of one bank account, or will you keep your money separate and divide expenses and savings?

4. Children. To have or not to have, and if you have, how many? Not everyone wants to have a child and some want a dozen. If you don’t want children, or you’ve had enough, what will you do to prevent pregnancy, i.e. what birth control methods will you use? What will you do if you become pregnant? 

5. Children Part Two. If you decide to have children, how will you raise them? Will one of you stay home until your children are of school age, or will they go to day care? Will your children be raised with religion or without? How will you discipline your children at various ages?

6. In-laws and Outlaws. How much time will you spend with your family members? Do one of you have family right around the corner? If so, how much time is too much time spent with them?

7. Holidays. What are your families’ holiday traditions? Which holidays will you spend where? If your families don’t live nearby, will you rotate spending time with each year after year? Maybe you want to keep certain holidays to yourself. Make a plan before it becomes an issue.

8. Last Name. Zoe Saldana’s husband just took her last name and it nearly broke the Internet. Taking your spouse’s last name can be a real hot button. It may seem like a small issue to some, but taking the time to discuss it can save you from resentment later.

These are topics that I think are critical to discuss pre-wedding. Have I missed anything you think is important? Leave a comment!